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When you mess up, it can be the most difficult to pardon. It doesn’t matter if the screwup is big or small. Dwelling on self-blame, however, can hold you back from learning from your mistakes. You need to bounce back.

Remember you’re only human. Most likely, your mistake has been made thousands of times before you by others. You are not alone.

Talk to yourself kindly. Don’t self abuse with put downs. You’re not letting yourself off the hook. Instead you’re using encouragement to move forward.

All life experiences, good and bad, hold information to help us improve with our intentions. Look at your mistake curiously and think about what made you act this way. Think about what you might do differently next time. You can try again.

A recent study in the journal Emotion found that those who practice observing their own thoughts and feelings, without judgement are more likely to forgive others for pain they caused.

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